Girl drawing.

Monday 29th March 2010



Just thought I'd upload a picture I've just drawn. It's the thing on my mind at the moment and I guess a picture says a thousand words.

Girl drawing.
x.

Girl believing.

Monday 22nd March 2009.

So, it's been a while.
I honestly can't remember the last time I wrote this, I just know that around that time the only response I heard from it was negative. And it's never easy to write something that no one else believes in anymore.
But things have changed over the last year, mostly for the better. I've found the man of my dreams (for real this time as well I think!), moved house again and turned eighteen.
Just the other day I was talking to two of my best friends, and the topic got onto life after death. How many people believe in it I wonder? Well for years on end I've stood stubbornly against the idea, but simply over the last week I've been reconsidering it.
My brother told me a story of my favourite Aunt, who I used to write to quite frequently. She had bone cancer, and for ten years more than the doctors gave her she fought it. Her husband, Jim, looked after her and they lived together happily. Until, one day he had a stroke, and suddenly it became a lot more difficult. The following Easter Jim died, and I vividly remember seeing my Aunt waving at his coffin as it went. I wrote to her much more after this, and time after time she told me of how lonely she was. Then she became more sick as the New Year came and the day before she died she told the hospital staff that she was going on holiday, that Jim was taking her, and they were going to Paradise. She died the next day; Valentine's Day.
I do miss writing letters to her, and going to visit.
But, it's stories like that that I find incredibly hard not to believe in. I can honestly put my hand to my heart and say I can't believe in the Bible... but there are some other things I'm finding it difficult to do so with. And at the end of the day, if I were to believe that you can be with your loved ones after life and I'm wrong, I haven't lost anything - but I've gained a lifetime of hope and belief.

Goodbye, to a young girl who was full of life.
Sleep peacefully Tess.

Girl believing.
x.

Girl living the life.

Friday 7th August 2009.

I don't remember the last time I was this happy all round.
I've always regarded a relationship as being fragile happiness, something that undeniably made you happy - but a happiness that wasn't stable and you're always scared of it being taken away from you at any moment. But for the first time ever, I don't feel like the mat of happiness could be pulled from beneath my feet without a lot of persuasion.
It's also amazing to be able to have your friends and family get on with your boyfriend without them slagging him off when he goes or moaning about certain things.
I think this summer is going to be The Summer. Everyone seems to have a summer they look back to of their childhood/ youth and can't help but smile at how blissfully happy they were and trouble free. I know any problems I have now I'll just look back on in a year or two and laugh at how easy they were, so I figure if I just look at it like that now then it should all seem easy straight away and I can just carry on with being happy.

Happy times make happy memories... Memories last forever.
Girl living the life.
x.

Girl blissfully happy.

Sunday 2nd August 2009.

Again, it's been a while since I've shouted out to the world so I thought I'd better keep my masses of hooked fans something to read... (in my dreams!).
Well my main motive for writing originally was somewhere and someone to moan to about everything I believed was wrong in the world and how I could put everything to right and the world would become perfect... but just lately I seem to have lost that motive completely. Everything in my life seems to be going well, no major disasters and everyone is happy.
Life is still challenging and demanding at times but then it wouldn't be life if it was anything but.
I couldn't ask for better people to be surrounded by, even if my best friends do insist on teasing me about the boy scenario... I guess it's only pay back for the many years I've sat singing childish songs to them whenever a new guy is on the scene. All's fair in love and war, and all that jazz.
So yeah, the life of Carly Davis is heading towards its peak.

Girl blissfully happy.
x.

Girl acousticed.

Saturday 11th July 2009.

Today has been pretty awesome. I've spent the day with friends I hardly ever see and when I do it's like we haven't had the six months void inbetween.
Then tonight with friends that I've actually seen more in the last few weeks than in the last six months and again it never has any empty spaces.
The guys came around this evening with their guitars ready to join me with my new electro acoustic that I can only just get something resembling a tune out of. Now I'm writing this sitting with them as they're writing something, I'm not exactly sure whether I can call it a song yet but whatever it is is really nice. I can't wait until I can actually play.
I love being able to sit in on a Saturday night with two great friends and do nothing but make music, or at least on my behalf listen to music. Life has to be good from here.
You need to be surrounded by people that inspire you and make you want to life yourself higher, and there's nothing nicer than knowing the people that can do this are the people you enjoy being with. For a change this isn't just based on my personal experiences, it can be spread across at least the three of us here tonight.
More nights like this should be scheduled for this summer.

That metallic taste of music.
Girl acousticed.
x.

Girl picking the people.

Friday 10th July 2009.
Billy's Birthday.

What is it that makes your life important? Is it whether you have what you want? Is it whether you give others what they want? Is it whether you're where you need to be? Is it who you're with? Out of all of these I don't think there's one answer for everyone, as we change every day and that's not a bad thing. The worst thing would be only being fixated on one of these aspects. Which the more I think about it the more I notice that a lot of people are.
It's actually quite theraputic to just sit and wonder what it is that makes your life so important. As soon as I ever ask myself that question I just get visions of certain people's faces, which leads me to believe that it's the people in my life that make it so good. Of course the places you are and the things you have will always embellish the rest of your living but the core of your life will always be branched out by the people who hold the foundations for you... But then that's just my opinion.
There are plenty of people that are happy with just what they have not who they have. Although I can't help but question their actual happiness.
What makes your life so important? Even if the importance only lies within your hands, it's still important nevertheless.

"Do you want a lover or do you want a life?"
Girl picking the people.
x.

Thursday 9th July 2009.

Not long got in from my friends' show of West Side Story. There were all absolutely terrific! Have to metnion that at least. Some of their parts were the best I've ever seen them perform and it just proved how well they could hold a stage, and as they were performing I could just see how comfortable and happy they were to be up there.
During the interval I was talking to one of my best friends about after next year when we all go away to uni. It really is the only thing I can think about at the moment. It just seems so exciting, everything about it, but at the same time scary and daunting. Not the things that most people seem scared of; the money aspect, making no friends, having to cook for yourself - I can deal with all of those things. The things that scare me the most aren't the obstacles that lie before me, but the ones I'm leaving behind.
My worries aren't big enough to have any serious impact on any decisions, but it has just really dawned on me that after a few days of absence from my friends there is usually a text sent round organising a meet up of sorts... how is it going to be after three months apart?! The variable most likely up for change will definitely be my phone bill.
Maybe none of this will work out how we're planning at all, I just don't know. This is coming towards the end of my 'Future Decisions' period of my life, only really have one year left of it until I've made the choice that will then dictate the rest of my life. God, when you say it like that it sounds almost as scary as the teachers make it out to be.
Some lighter news - my electro acoustic came today. My birthday present off my dad (once I'd decided a few months later what I actually wanted). And it's so beautiful, I really do love it. I can't wait until it stops hurting my fingers to play and I get good.

Girl with numb fingers.
x.