Posts
Tuesday 26th October 2010.
Today's not been too bad considering I spent three hours travelling for a one hour lecture. But it's that nagging feeling inside that's having more of an effect on me.
People spend so much time worrying about what someone has said to them or how they said it. And work themselves up about what they actually meant. But I've learnt that what and how people say things is usually exactly what they mean. Nothing more nothing less.
It's when they say nothing that you need to worry.
Girl bored.
x.
Tuesday 26 October 2010
Sunday 17 October 2010
Monday 18th October 2010.
Monday 18th October 2010
I handed in my notice at work today. I still can't decide if it felt liberating or belittling. Is it good cause I've finally got to say 'up yours, I've found something better' or a bit demeaning because she made me feel that I wasn't good enough in the first place.
Either way it doesn't matter now. New things are ahead. I have started university, made new friends, new teachers, new work. But it's still nice to keep some of the old things. Old friends, old habits and old love.
It does make me feel a little bit silly saying old love. Especially on here, he's barely even mentioned - as since he's been in my life I've turned away from this blog. I guess I used this as a place to wallow on my life, and now I don't need a reason or a place to wallow at all. But nevertheless it does feel like old love. It's only been a year and three months, but it feels like I've known him forever, and as though he's known me.
I'm on my own tonight, which is very very occasional these days - but I guess pulling me out of what is now my normality, makes me see how much I could potentially lose. Everyone strives to find 'the one' or 'love', but we never stop to think about what to do with it once we've found it. Moan, bicker, fight. Why do we bother? We know that we're happy, and we don't want to lose it - yet still we continue. I suppose it sounds like we've had a fight. We haven't. It just makes me think that now I have the happiness I've always longed and hoped for it scares me at how easily it can all be taken away.
But then it's reassuring to know that, or at least to be pretty sure that he's here to stay, and so am I.
Sometimes we question the people that we love, but in this one circumstance in life it's better to take the back seat and just enjoy the ride. No questions asked.
Girl asking no questions.
x.
I handed in my notice at work today. I still can't decide if it felt liberating or belittling. Is it good cause I've finally got to say 'up yours, I've found something better' or a bit demeaning because she made me feel that I wasn't good enough in the first place.
Either way it doesn't matter now. New things are ahead. I have started university, made new friends, new teachers, new work. But it's still nice to keep some of the old things. Old friends, old habits and old love.
It does make me feel a little bit silly saying old love. Especially on here, he's barely even mentioned - as since he's been in my life I've turned away from this blog. I guess I used this as a place to wallow on my life, and now I don't need a reason or a place to wallow at all. But nevertheless it does feel like old love. It's only been a year and three months, but it feels like I've known him forever, and as though he's known me.
I'm on my own tonight, which is very very occasional these days - but I guess pulling me out of what is now my normality, makes me see how much I could potentially lose. Everyone strives to find 'the one' or 'love', but we never stop to think about what to do with it once we've found it. Moan, bicker, fight. Why do we bother? We know that we're happy, and we don't want to lose it - yet still we continue. I suppose it sounds like we've had a fight. We haven't. It just makes me think that now I have the happiness I've always longed and hoped for it scares me at how easily it can all be taken away.
But then it's reassuring to know that, or at least to be pretty sure that he's here to stay, and so am I.
Sometimes we question the people that we love, but in this one circumstance in life it's better to take the back seat and just enjoy the ride. No questions asked.
Girl asking no questions.
x.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)